7 Odd but TRUE statements I have said to my daughter in her early years
Things as a Mother I Never Thought I’d Say
Probably the one and only thing I enjoy about washing dishes is when I forget about the world and for a little while and think about my daughter.
Let me start by saying, this sounds like I’m going to be all sappy and mushy in this post. But I assure you, I am not. See, my child is a fantastic child, but, she has ALWAYS gone to her own beat. She has ALWAYS been a leader. She has ALWAYS been into creating and performing. That being said, I found myself experiencing very odd situations and as a result saying some very weird ass stuff. She may not be a toddler anymore, but there still isn’t ever a dull day in my home. So, here are some famous things I said to Isa when she was between 2 -5 years old.
(Before anyone gets their panties in a twist. My child is fantastic! You couldn’t ask for a kinder, and more beautiful soul. She is 8 now, on the honor roll, and still goes to her own beat, still a leader, and now is a beautiful actress.)
The 7 Odd but TRUE statements I have said to my daughter in her early years.
- “Take that Stink Bug out of your mouth!”
(I used to have poison control on speed dial! She loved to put stink bugs in her mouth and let them run around. She never killed them, just let them run around. Poison control laughed when I called them the first day she did this. They responded that she would just have some stinky breath.) She continued to stick them in her mouth that summer. Of course, it was the year that stink bugs had infested the east coast. They were everywhere, including my daughters’ mouth! It was a battle that year.)
- “No, that fork is not a Dinglehopper!”
(Why did this always happen at a restaurant? She, brushing her hair with a fork, as we are ordering. If the server didn’t make the connection that she was acting out the movie, Little Mermaid, then she was probably ready to call child protective services on us!!! LOL)
- “Why did you paint the wall?”
(Small story: My daughter was 5 and she loved to pin on Pinterest. One day, she had a fantastic idea that she would paint one of our spare bedrooms with the help of her Pinterest board. When asked why. She said it was for her cat. To be honest, I’m kind of flattered that she embraces her creativity. This comes straight from me. I couldn’t even be angry because it showed me that she took initiative, she used her imagination, and she executed it. I was actually, quite impressed!)
- “Why did you play with your poop and paint the walls with it, Isa?”
(Answer, because she wanted another bath and had already been told no, because it was too late. She tribal painted this fucking room!!! I’m not joking. Who remembers the movie, Encino Man? When Brendan Frasier does all the caveman art with the mud? That’s how it looked. It was everywhere!!!! We were steam cleaning and scrubbing walls at 11pm at night.) See pic.
Don't you just LOVE the hand prints!!!
- “Why are you naked, this is the 5th time, I put clothes on you.”
(My child was a nudist. She hated clothes. HATED THEM. We could NOT keep clothes on her)
- “We do not pee down AC Vents!”
(My daughter by 2 was in a big girl bed because she was scaling her crib and it had become too dangerous. She was potty trained. But all the sudden her room started to smell like pee. We couldn’t figure out where. We were sniffing floors, bedsheets, comforters, teddy bears, and anything that had fabric that could have smell. Nothing. Well…this continued for months. Finally, one day she had aged enough that she could communicate with us pretty well. We were actually, preparing the house to move out. I was in her room painting. She came in and pointed to the vent. She proceeded to explain to me that she had been peeing down the AC vent. LOL It had rusted the vent all the way through. We lost our deposit and had to fix it!)
- “Why is the cat zipped up inside your backpack?”
(This really happened. I hadn’t seen the cat in hours. I looked through the house. Only to hear this pitiful meow. I unzipped him from my 4-year-old daughters’ backpack. This poor cat had to have been in there for hours. Our cats adore Isa and there wasn’t a day that she didn’t accessorize at least one of them with bows, barrettes, clothing, and even hair curlers). See pic and notice the hair extension (purple)! The cat would climb in the bag for her. LOL