Sticky Fingered Phillips

blog, funny, klepto, kleptomaniac, mom blog -

Sticky Fingered Phillips

SHHHH! Don’t Tell the Hubs

Sticky Fingered Phillips

Today, I have realized something about myself that I am ashamed of.

Alright, You ready?

Well….I am a kleptomaniac, specializing in Firestick Remotes.  It’s only 12pm and I’ve managed to obtain 3 firesticks to my bedroom. AND…. my parent’s firestick remote. Which, by the way, ended up in my bag to take home with me.  Thank goodness for my mom asking a random question that required me to get into my bag or I would’ve had acquired a 4th. Worst part, I have zero recollection of palming any of these remotes.

My hubby complains about the fact that I lose everything. Well…. this proves it.  The only reason I noticed about these remotes is that I needed to turn the master bedroom firestick on.  The remote didn’t work. Puzzling for a second, I realized from the sticker on the remote that it was my daughter’s firestick. So, I looked around again and found the firestick remote on the dresser.  Thought it was odd that the remote had no back on the batteries, but was like, “Whatev.”  Tried using this remote and this one didn’t work. I contemplated changing the batteries when all of the sudden. From the corner of my eye.  I spied another fucking firestick remote. I approach the remote, pushing the on button. Beautiful, it worked. I was thinking, “I am soooooo happy D was out golfing or I wouldn’t hear the last of this. This could’ve haunted me for life.”

But, worst of all. I almost took home my parents’ firestick remote.  Was almost successful. But, as I was leaving, my mother asked me to grab something from my backpack and that’s when I saw the firestick remote.

That would be 4 firestick remotes that I have palmed just TODAY.

So, as I grow more concerned of my Kleptomaniac tendencies for firesticks, and the amnesiac type behaviors, I will advise all friends and family to remove firesticks from my presence or risk your firesticks fate to my sticky fingers.



Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published