Dish stories--The Beta Murder.
As I sit here writing this blog post, I am uncomfortably wet. (NO.....this is not a porn, get your dirty mind off sex!!! ) My mid area waist is soaked. See, it's always interesting when my mind wanders while doing dishes.
I began my dishes with the easy ones. You know, the ones you don’t even have to pre-wash. Love those fuckers. Only highlight of my dishwashing.
I, next,, start on the Fruity Pebbles bowl. I know this because the A-holes in my house do not know how to wash a freaking dish. I contemplate, trying to scrub the “cereal cement” or soak it. I chose to take on the task of fighting the fruity pebble war. I miserably fail, throwing a few choice cuss words along the way. l decide to wave the white flag and give up.
As I dump the Dawn in and proceed to fill the bowl with water to soak it. I quickly realize the extent of how hot the water was. It made me think back about the time I murdered the Beta fish. I, immediately, felt a pang of guilt. See, one night, the cats knocked the Beta fish bowl over. I presume, that the cats probably played with the fish for a while. Probably, torturing him along the way. But, surprisingly, when I found him, he was alive!! So, I whisked him up and began to fill his bowl with water. Holy fuck, I didn’t realize that our cousin had used the scalding hot water and left the faucet on hot. I had filled the Beta’s bowl with hot water. I had cooked the fish. It was horrible!!! I began to feel guilty. Right at that moment that guilt had set in, I was snapped back into reality when I managed to drench myself at my belly button. Perfect stripe of wetness where the kitchen counter met my belly.The tidal wave of dirty water came over me. At that point, I shut the faucet off, looked at the dishes, and said, "Fuck it." and gave up. The dishes had won. I left the last few dishes, pissed, sad, soaked, and over it.
These are my thoughts while doing dishes. LOL