The Bad News Boho
I’m going to be honest, since starting my Website I’ve decided I should dress less like a stereotypical stay at home mom, and more like someone with some sense of style. Now, during the times I’m not writing or creating, I sell consignment (Poshmark denaroland94). One important element of consigning is know what’s “IN”, in the fashion world. Using what I know, I decided this morning that I would dress myself in what has taken the Country and our younger generations by storm ……..The Boho Look!
Okay, so right now to give you the low down on fashion, its boho, crop tops, distressed jeans, chokers, kimonos, lavender, mustard yellow, Active leisure clothing (which is another word for fucking saying that you wear Yoga pants to work!) Let’s not sugar coat it. We’ve all tried to wear Yoga pants to work and it wasn’t acceptable. Some fashion diva out of France says fucking wear 4 inch heels with workout capris and its OK! Sheesh! Plaid, trench coats, fur, contrasting patterns…..Not my cup of tea but if that’s what is “Cool” (do they even use that word), then I will try to step out of my usual!
So Okay, Here I go, I put on Some distressed capris from Target, white boho tank top from Larimer, Kimono from L.A. Hearts and some big hangy necklace from Paparazzi. So I’ve hit the main fashion points. Kimono (Check!), distressed (check!), boho (Check!), statement jewelry (check!)
I put this combo on and stared in the mirror: WTF was I wearing?! I’m serious. I looked like I rolled out of bed sloppy as crap! I don’t understand it. What is appealing? I mean, Yes! I love distressed but, the thrown together sloppy look, I’m not sure! But, this is fashion right?? Going with the flow.
I settle into my new outfit. I leave and take my daughter to cheer. I’m just glad that I’m not in my usual jog pants and Walmart tee (I am an artist. They are my paint clothes and they are comfy. More….because they are comfy. Okay…………………… because they are comfy).
I get home after cheer and my hubby takes one look at me and says, “Why, you dressed like grandma? I turned around to my full-length mirror, and stared. Tilting my head back and forth like a little puppy. Just staring. He was fucking right! I looked like grandma. Sad part, I KNOW people my age who are grandmas! I thought I was supposed to look younger by wearing this Sh*t!!!! Oh…………no, no, no. My realization while staring at the mirror was this……………you only look good in boho when you are not freaking almost 40. Crows feet, gray hair, stretch marks, Skin tags, blood tumors all over, if you have any of these. You are clearly too fucking old to wear the boho fashion. It ages you!! Seriously! Exact opposite of my intentions. Jesus, now wonder Starbucks asked me if I wanted a Senior discount. Joking! But really, I m going back to classic straight lines, and clean cut, and maybe just maybe my wrinkles will blend with my straight line classic look.