The Period Defense

The Period Defense

I’m sorry, my fellow goddesses. Let’s be real. I have cramps. I want to roll up in a ball. Put my knees up to my shoulders. While I’m doing this, I notice the roll of my fat that is balling up between my belly and my legs.   Which is worse than usual because I am so incredibly bloated! Well….there goes my self-esteem for the day.   So that one fat roll just sends my sensitive body image over the edge. BOOM! Jenga as I refer to it. That moment where life and your period take you on. You know that moment where you have hit the fucking barrier. That’s it, you have nothing left. Your physical pain is controlling your thoughts. Your thoughts are spiraling out into the world by your actions. You KNOW what I mean. Those cramps are controlling your mind so much that when people talk, you want to rip their face off. Is it them or is it the gnarling pain? The pain is so constant and the nagging pain coupled with sharp needle like pain that is making you feel like something has decided to twist your insides and pull them out. Or at least attempting to rip them out. While this is happening, you have a simultaneously throbbing lower fat roll (abdomen) so intense that the ache begins to travel up into the hips and back down radiating all the way into the legs.

My pain is horrific. My evil nemesis will come with vengeance upon my soul with a consistent nagging pain so bad that eventually my uterus and her bullying will make me turn on others. That’s right! I said it. If you can use the bullying defense when the bullied kid goes crazy. Then whatabout……..I have my defense when I flip the fuck out because my uterus decides she doesn’t like me and wants to ruin my fucking day.

So, hail goddesses. One must no pain in order to………………………………..FUCK THAT! Girl!!! You go back to bed. Roll up in a ball. Cry your eyes out. Do what you need to do!!!! You gain nothing from it except our uterus taking revenge because we did not get Prego.

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